Review: Harry Styles, "Harry Styles" + Promotional Film

From The Desk Of Jakob Musıck: Secretary-General of Nothing
May 24 2017 (First telegram sent)
5 Prairial an 225 de la Révolution
Year Juche 106

Harry Styles, “Harry Styles”

After watching The Apple Music documentary -- Im starting to believe that Harry Styles is intentionally situating himself as The Void: His songs are in an arcane style and talk about nothing in detail, his expressed wish is to *not* have people know him better through his musick, he has an arrogant presence of someone whom is famous, but leaves you wondering exactly what it is beside his bravado that is 'enchanting'. He intentionally dresses in shabby clothing, looking like he is trying to over-age himself into some sort of neophyte Ernest Hemingway. Pitchfork had it absolutely correct that his album is full of stock phrases-- which is common in pop. But what is not common is that the 'fun' is missing. The whole album passes you by and beside perhaps one or two instances it's like you have been in a heroin nod and all of a sudden you realize it is over, with a completely featureless sonic contour. This album, despite what he wants you to think, with his feminine clothing and auteur-indie persona, is nothing at all 'new', unlike what he claims in the Apple Music doc. On top of all of this, he has Irving Azoff's son behind him, contributing to an over-the-top publicity machine that peaked with Billboard writing 4 'articles' in one day about him. He is a talented, in many ways beautiful young man, but "Harry Styles" leads you to believe he has done nothing to earn all of this attention, and is doing nothing to keep it. Is that not a complete tragedy if you are truly a talented person? The best popstars (even 'rockstars', which is what he is trying to be) say *something* even if that 'something' is just a good time. He has nothing to say you haven't already heard, and I don't think you will remember what it is he has said when he is through.