In chapter 2, Barker is out to demonstrate that the god of the bible (Yahweh or, more accurately YHWH) is petty. He starts with the awkward KJV quote from Ezekiel "I am against your pillows!" which is, of course, rather absurd. According to Barker, scholars are still 'unclear' as to what exactly 'pillows' meant here. It has taken them quite a while. Isolating god's 'meaning' always does. The word (in Hebrew, I presume) for the 'pillows' is kesathoth. It appears only in that passage from Ezekiel. (13:20) It was most likely connected to the concept of 'fortune tellers,' & a Yahwist inveighsion against them. Still, it is pointed out by Barker that it is a little interesting that Yahweh is specifically setting himself against the accouterments of fortune-telling & not the tellers (most of Christian history has punished the 'tellers,' & quite harshly.)
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| YHWH no likey |
As part of this 'petty' chapter, Barker also points out more ridiculous things that Yahweh critiques in the very people he created (about covering up excrement, temporary expulsion of people who experience nocturnal emissions, 'no round haircuts', 'no tattoos,' 'no blended fabrics' & my favourite, 'basket is cursed') Members of the holy-people's camp who did nocturnally emit would have to leave, but could be permitted to enter again at night. How very forgiving.
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| 'Ughh! I have to leave again?' |
Leviticus 22:12 (KJV) explains why Orthodox Jews wear clothing with tassels & chords, but the actual injunction, "Make tassles on the four corners of the cloak you wear", seems so arbitrary. Why tassels? Yahweh says this is to prevent the Hebrews from "prostituting themselves" to their own desires. & why 4? Is this the same reasoning that underlie the 4 main apostolic authors of the New Testament (A Christian father 'explained' the reason for the 4 as corresponding to "the 4 corners of the earth.") Yahweh is an arbitrary deity, & there is very little reasoning given for some of his less practical edicts, like this one --
"Cursed shall be your basket & your kneading trough" (Deuteronomy 28:17) (RSV)
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| Cursed? |
What tha hell? lol. Barker is surely successful in highlighting the most arbitrary, bizarre &, yes, petty admonitions of the 'most high'. As such: Kids mock a man with a bald head in 2 Kings 2:23-24 and receive a bear attack which injures 40 & kills 2 of them. a mauling. for mockery. YHWH is positively pre-menstrual in his bad temper. Arbitrary, the 'dens of iniquity' have not been those who have defied the Yahwists (& their successors), but those who have represented him, & taken his puritanical faith to the ends of the earth, leaving behind scorches plains & the entrails of the dead Pagan faithful.
Some classic quotes in this chapter (minus the 'basket' one) -
On Leviticus 11:10-12 (RSV): Seafood restaurants are "dens of iniquity"
"For the generations to come none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God...I am the Lord, who makes them holy" (Whose fault it is if you are a dwarf!) (Leviticus 21:16-23) (KJV) lol
Almost as good as Basket: "...do not tear your clothes, or you will die & the Lord will be angry with the whole community." (Leviticus 10:3-6)
Think about that the next time you witness a male stripper bring about his death with his mortal sin!
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| Gasp |
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